Tag Archives: funny books

How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire, by Kerrelyn Sparks

9 Jul

Format: Kindle Edition, 384 pages
Published: March 3, 2009 (first published July 26th 2005)
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Back cover blurb:
So what if he’s a bit older and usually regards a human female as dinner, not a dinner date? Yes, Roman Draganesti is a vampire, but a vampire who lost one of his fangs sinking his teeth into something he shouldn’t have. Now he has one night to find a dentist before his natural healing abilities close the wound, leaving him a lop–sided eater for all eternity.

Things aren’t going well for Shanna Whelan either…After witnessing a gruesome murder by the Russian mafia, she’s next on their hit list. And her career as a dentist appears to be on a downward spiral because she’s afraid of blood. When Roman rescues her from an assassination attempt, she wonders if she’s found the one man who can keep her alive. Though the attraction between them is immediate and hot, can Shanna conquer her fear of blood to fix Roman’s fang? And if she does, what will prevent Roman from using his fangs on her…

 

My review:

Not exactly laugh-out-loud funny, but very amusing nonetheless, especially in the first half of the book. It reminded me a lot of other vampire series – I read too many of them, I know – and at times I felt like I had read parts of this before in either Twilight or Cat and Bones or somewhere.

Regardless, I loved Roman and all his vampire mates – especially the Highlanders and Gregori – and will be reading the other books in the series just to find out more about them. Shanna was annoying for the most part, but I usually hate the heroines so that’s nothing new. I also think the cover lets the book down a bit.

My rating: 4/5

One Grave at a Time, by Jeaniene Frost

7 Jul

Format: Kindle Edition
Published: August 30, 2011
Publisher: Harper Collins, Inc.
Back cover blurb:
Having narrowly averted an (under)world war, Cat Crawfield wants nothing more than a little downtime with her vampire husband, Bones. Unfortunately, her gift from New Orleans’ voodoo queen just keeps on giving–leading to a personal favor that sends them into battle once again, this time against a villainous spirit.

Centuries ago, Heinrich Kramer was a witch hunter. Now, every All Hallows Eve, he takes physical form to torture innocent women before burning them alive. This year, however, a determined Cat and Bones must risk all to send him back to the other side of eternity–forever. But how do you kill a killer who’s already long dead?

My review:
Not a bad installment, marginally better than the last one but still missing something I can’t quite put my finger on. The business with Don sat oddly with me and the introduction of douchebag Madigan indicates fairly clearly where the plot is likely to head after this.

Still, I love Bones, Spade and Ian, and despite my misgivings, they’ll keep me reading.

My rating: 4/5

Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men, by Molly Harper

20 May

Format: Kindle edition, 376 pages
Published: August 25, 2009
Publisher: Pocket Star
Back cover blurb:
With her best friend Zeb’s Titanic-themed wedding looming ahead, new vampire Jane Jameson struggles to develop her budding relationship with her enigmatic sire, Gabriel. It seems unfair that she’s expected to master undead dating while dealing with a groom heading for a nuptial nervous breakdown, his hostile werewolf in-laws, and the ugliest bridesmaid dress in the history of marriage. Meanwhile, the passing of Jane’s future step-grandpa puts Grandma Ruthie back on the market. Her new fiance, Wilbur, has his own history of suspiciously dead spouses, and he may or may not have died ten years ago. Half-Moon Hollow’s own Black Widow has finally met her match. Should Jane warn her grandmother of Wilbur’s marital habits or let things run their course? Will Jane always be an undead bridesmaid, never the undead bride? Combining Mary Janice Davidson’s sass and the charm of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels, this is an incredibly satisfying read for fans of paranormal romantic comedy.
My review:
Still laugh-out-loud funny, but maybe not quite as good as the first book. There was no real mystery to grip the reader, just a series of (hilarious) plots involving the werewolf Titanic-themed wedding, Jane’s “black widow” grandmother and her new beau she met at the funeral home viewing of her previous boyfriend, the excellent Dick and Jane’s bookshop employer, and Jane’s former high school crush. And, of course, there’s the lovely Gabriel, who is still being enigmatic and smexy. Hopefully the next book will explain a bit more about what he’s been up to. I loved his joke at the end about suitable wedding songs (“Hungry Like the Wolf” – perfect!). So pleased there are more of these books for me to read :)
My rating: 4/5

You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me, by Sarra Manning

13 May

Format: Kindle Edition, 560 pages
Published: February 3, 2011
Publisher: Corgi
Back cover blurb:
Sweet, bookish Neve Slater always plays by the rules. And the number one rule is that good-natured fat girls like her don’t get guys like gorgeous, handsome William, heir to Neve’s heart since university. But William’s been in LA for three years, and Neve’s been slimming down and re-inventing herself so that when he returns, he’ll fall head over heels in love with the new, improved her.

So she’s not that interested in other men. Until her sister Celia points out that if Neve wants William to think she’s an experienced love-goddess and not the fumbling, awkward girl he left behind, then she’d better get some, well, experience.

What Neve needs is someone to show her the ropes, someone like Celia’s colleague Max. Wicked, shallow, sexy Max. And since he’s such a man-slut, and so not Neve’s type, she certainly won’t fall for him. Because William is the man for her… right?

Somewhere between losing weight and losing her inhibitions, Neve’s lost her heart – but to who?

My review:
I loved this and almost gave it five cupcakes, but the period in the book from where William phones to when Neve confronts Charlotte dragged a bit for me, so I felt I had to take half a cake off.

Honestly, though, I was surprised how much I did enjoy this story, and really couldn’t put it down. Neve is a believable character: a woman who has lost a lot of weight but who still sees herself as flabby and undesirable. On her sister’s suggestion, she embarks on a “pancake relationship” with Max – you know, you throw away the first pancake in the batch because it’s never perfect – so she can be ready and experienced when her “true love” William returns from California.

The plotline is contrived and cliched, in that it’s clear from the start there will be more to Max and Neve’s relationship than just fake affection and at some point there will be huge conflict, but I didn’t mind because Max is so damn yummy. The things he says… *sigh* He made me laugh out loud and go tingly all at the same time, and that is the kind of man you want to hold onto. Neve thinks he’s a cad when she first meets him, but in the end it is clear the cad in this story is not him. Far from it.

Hilarious and sexy, I’d recommend this book for Max alone!

My rating: 4.5/5

Saved by Cake, by Marian Keyes

29 Apr

Format: Hardcover, 300 pages
Published: February 28, 2012
Publisher: Michael Joseph
Back cover blurb:
From one of the best-loved novelists in Britain comes a book for all of us who love to bake (or would love to learn).
After a difficult period in her life, Marian Keyes found solace in baking. The precision of the measurements, the light spring of a well-baked cake, the prettiness of the frosting and decorations: the whole process was soothing. She immersed herself in the world of recipes and piping bags and silicone cake moulds, baking for friends, family and (when they couldn’t eat another bite) total strangers. In short, she fell in love with baking.
Saved By Cake is a dose of pure Marian. Funny and charming as ever, Marian guides you through the world of baking in her own inimitable way. It’s perfect for novice bakers, with plenty of advice for beginners, but the recipes are delicious and unique enough to appeal to even the most seasoned of bakers. From Slightly Sinister Star Anise cupcakes to Blokey Snickers Loaf Cheesecake, from Lemon and Thyme biscuits to the Ultimate Chocolate Cake, Marian has something for everyone’s taste buds. And with her as your guide, this is baking as it’s meant to be: pure, unadulterated fun!
My review:
I love Marian Keyes and was really worried about her when she announced she had stopped writing due to a serious bout of depression. This book chronicles her fight back from the breakdown, listing her treatments – even the way she carried a “suicide bag” with pens and paper so she could write a note to whoever found her. But her ultimate way of pushing the black thoughts at bay turned out to be baking.Full of gorgeous recipes, every page has her trademark wonderful Irish humour and you can’t help but smile at her new fetish for cookie cutters shaped like shoes and handbags. This is a lovely hardback, and I will certainly be trying out some of her family’s favourites. I think more recipes should say to just “feck in more flour”!

My rating: 5/5

Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst

19 Apr

Format: Kindle edition, 398 pages
Published: September 13, 2011
Publisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
Back cover blurb:
Pearl is a sixteen-year-old vampire, fond of blood, allergic to sunlight, and mostly evil… until the night a sparkly unicorn stabs her through the heart with his horn. Oops.Her Family think she was attacked by a vampire hunter (because, obviously, unicorns don’t exist), and they’re shocked she survived. They’re even more shocked when Pearl discovers she can now withstand the sun. But they quickly find a way to make use of her new talent. The Vampire King of New England has chosen Pearl’s Family to host his feast. If Pearl enrolls in high school, she can make lots of human friends and lure them to the king’s feast — as the entrees.

The only problem? Pearl’s starting to feel the twinges of a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends — especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache — to be slaughtered? Then again, she’s definitely dead if she lets down her Family. What’s a sunlight-loving vamp to do?

My review:
Sarah Beth Durst had me at the were-unicorn. She really didn’t have to add the sparkly vampire references or the Twilight-themed prom to make this book even more awesome. I laughed and was scared and went “awww” throughout the whole thing, and I honestly was surprised by how much I loved it.

Pearl is a snarky teenage vampire who likes to eat her icecream via the blood of an awkward Dairy Hut worker. After sucking on his neck one night she is impaled by a unicorn – yep, she didn’t believe it either – and as a result she is able to walk in daylight. Her nasty family see this as an opportunity for daytime hunting, especially given they have to provide a meal for the vamp king’s visit, so they send her off to high school to find juicy young prey.

It’s not too hard to figure out who the unicorn is, but what happens when Pearl discovers her humanity is unexpected and gripping. Evan is a swoony love interest, and I absolutely loved every time wannabe vampire hunters Zeke and Matt came on the scene. Their dialogue almost stole the show for me. A fabulous book, and the cover is just to die for.

My rating: 5/5

18 & Over Book Blogger Follow #4

1 Apr

18 & Over Book Blogger Follow is a weekly feature that runs over the weekend, hosted by Crystal from one of my favourite blog sites, Reading Between the Wines.

Question of the Week: Doing something a bit different this week…I would like you all to turn to page 60 of your current read (Even novella’s should have at least 60 pages, true.) And share the third to last sentence on that page! Make sure to share the title and author as well. :)

Apologies to all my readers – I’ve been out of the country and internetless for the last couple of weeks, but what a great question to come back to! My sentence is from Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst, and I had to do some calculations with my Kindle edition to find page 60. I think I got it right :)

“The girl never looked at Pearl, never knew how lucky she was to be here safe in the sun, rather than meeting Pearl in the shadows.”

Sounds creepy, but actually the book is really funny!

What about you? What are you reading at the moment? Leave a comment below or link up HERE to follow the meme.

Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs, by Molly Harper

15 Mar

Format: Kindle Edition
Published: March 31, 2009
Publisher: Pocket
Back cover blurb:
Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children’s librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed twenty-five dollars in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that’s sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she’s mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead. And thanks to the mysterious stranger she met while chugging neon-colored cocktails, she wakes up with a decidedly unladylike thirst for blood.

Jane is now the latest recipient of a gift basket from the Newly Undead Welcoming Committee, and her life-after-lifestyle is taking some getting used to. Her recently deceased favorite aunt is now her ghostly roommate. She has to fake breathing and endure daytime hours to avoid coming out of the coffin to her family. She’s forced to forgo her favorite down-home Southern cooking for bags of O negative. Her relationship with her sexy, mercurial vampire sire keeps running hot and cold. And if all that wasn’t enough, it looks like someone in Half Moon Hollow is trying to frame her for a series of vampire murders. What’s a nice undead girl to do?

My review:
This book was a laugh riot from start to finish. The snark was dialled right up to 11, and Jane made me snicker out loud so many times I lost count.

Set in a world very much like that of Sookie Stackhouse, where vampires are out in the open and drink synthetic blood products, children’s librarian Jane finds herself unemployed and undead all in one day, the latter thanks to a drunken hunter who mistakes her for a deer. She is “saved” by the hunky Gabriel, about whom I wish to know much, much more. He is a bit like Sookie’s Bill, a civil war-era gentleman who is deliciously naive in the modern manner of speaking (like another favourite character of mine, Leif in the Iron Druid series) but loves talking about books and knows how to please a lady, if you know what I mean.

Jane, though, is a bit of a walking disaster, having gained herself a nasty enemy on top of having a dysfunctional family and a best friend with a new, “different” girlfriend. The potential for humour is endless with material like that, and Harper capitalises at every turn. This was very close to a five-cupcake read for me, and only isn’t because I found the denouement a little unsatisfying and rushed. However, I’m very eager to read the sequels and find out more about yummy Gabriel.

My rating: 4.5/5

One For The Money, by Janet Evanovich

9 Mar

Format: Kindle Edition, 336 pages
Published: December 1, 2011 (first published January 1, 1994)
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Back cover blurb:
Welcome to Trenton, New Jersey, home to wiseguys, average Joes, and Stephanie Plum, who sports a big attitude and even bigger money problems (since losing her job as a lingerie buyer for a department store). Stephanie needs cash–fast–but times are tough, and soon she’s forced to turn to the last resort of the truly desperate: family.Stephanie lands a gig at her sleazy cousin Vinnie’s bail bonding company. She’s got no experience. But that doesn’t matter. Neither does the fact that the bail jumper in question is local vice cop Joe Morelli. From the time he first looked up her dress to the time he first got into her pants to the time Steph hit him with her father’s Buick, M-o-r-e-l-l-i has spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e. And now the hot guy is in hot water–wanted for murder.

Abject poverty is a great motivator for learning new skills, but being trained in the school of hard knocks by people like psycho prizefighter Benito Ramirez isn’t. Still, if Stephanie can nab Morelli in a week, she’ll make a cool ten grand. All she has to do is become an expert bounty hunter overnight–and keep herself from getting killed before she gets her man.

My review:
Great one-liners – I laughed out loud on so many occasions, and not just because of Vinnie and the duck. Stephanie’s hilarious relationship with Morelli is really the key to the story. They have so much bad history and yet they come to work together so well and the UST is clearly present. I liked Ranger, too, and look forward to reading the rest of the series to see what happens to all these larger-than-life-but-very-Jersey characters.

PS: Yes, that is the movie tie-in book I have, but in no way could I picture Katherine Heigl in my head when I read Stephanie. It doesn’t surprise me that it appears this movie is going straight to video here. Never judge a book by its movie.

My rating: 4/5

Confessions of a Karaoke Queen, by Ella Kingsley

21 Feb

Format: Kindle edition, 400 pages
Published: December 8, 2011
Publisher: Sphere
Back cover blurb:
Maddie Mulhern is suddenly in charge. Her parents – former 80s pop duo Pineapple Mist – have left for the summer on a nostalgia tour, entrusting her to manage their struggling karaoke bar, Sing It Back. Panicking over the dodgy finances, Maddie takes a gamble: she signs up for a fly-on-the-wall reality TV series. With her faithful staff (divalicious drag queen Ruby, shy barman Simon and wannabe actress Jasmine) she’ll transform the bar into a huge success. Simple. Right? Executive Producer Evan Bergman knows that scandal sells. It’s no coincidence that he hires cool, attractive Nick Craven as director. Evan wants drama on screen – and he’ll do anything to get it. As the series builds to a live finale, will Maddie see the truth in a Careless Whisper? Will Nick be able to keep his Poker Face? One thing’s for sure: we all do things at karaoke that we regret …
My review:
First of all, any book which mentions so many fabulous 80s bands cannot be all that bad. There were even ones I had forgotten all about, like Baltimora. So I was totally in my element reading about Maddie and her 80s one-hit-wonder parents, aka Pineapple Mist, who get invited on a reunion tour and leave her in charge of their failing karaoke bar. In order to pay the bills, Maddie allows a TV crew in to film a reality show, which turns out to be a series of manipulated events by the producer with a hidden agenda, Evan.

The plot was a bit predictable, but the characters were engaging and I enjoyed the story a lot. I could have done with more Nick – it was hard to gauge his intentions because he was hardly in it, but I guess that was intentional so we didn’t know too much how he was going to act at the end. I can totally see this as a film or TV movie because the scenes all played out so clearly in my head.

Having said I loved it, I’m not sure how this book would translate to someone not so versed in British or 80s culture. Kingsley uses a lot of Brit slang and cultural references which I suspect many on the other side of the Atlantic wouldn’t understand, and I can only assume she is about my age given her love of Prefab Sprout and OMD. I loved that aspect, though, as it set the story firmly in London and the present day. There were a few typos in my Kindle edition, but I forgave those because the whole thing made me laugh out loud so often. The cover is also very pretty.

My rating: 4/5
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